Saturday 23 March 2013

Deafness and theory test

Hello everyone,
Just thought I'd give a quick update on how's everything and stuff as I have had an eventful week to be fair.

Well this morning, I had my theory test, I was kind of shitting it if I'm fairly honest as I haven't practiced since I failed my last theory :S But luckily, I passed! Brilliant news for me as it means I now can get back onto the road and continue learning to drive with my driving instructor :-) 

Anyway, I also had some bad news which isn't pretty good for me, so I'll quickly give a small brief about that...

Basically, as some of you know, I have Bilateral hearing loss (is a type of hearing loss in both ears and considered "Deaf") due to meningitis when I was 6 weeks old, so I have been deaf pretty much all my life... 

Well anyway, last Wednesday morning I noticed I couldn't hear well when I put my aid on in the morning after shower which I assumed I must of got it wet again and that it'll dry out within an hour... Well an hour passed, and I still couldn't hear very well so I was getting a bit angry with the aid as it was a new one that was recently delivered due to my previous one got wet. Typical(!) 

Anyway, I just went to school as usual to finish off my coursework in hope that my hearing will get better as the day pass by, by the time I came home from school, it hasn't so I asked my mum to basically ring up and ask if they could deliver a new aid as I thought I may have gotten it wet inside. I also noticed was that when I decided to listen to music (I use headphones without my hearing aid) was that I couldn't hear it as well as I normally can, so that kinda made me think you wot... Well Thursday morning, I was hoping that I'd put my aid back on and miracally I'd be able to hear as I normally can, but the answer was no... 

So I just went to school as usual not being able to hear at all apart from a smide of my annoying voice and was hoping that there was a small faulty that the teachers (they are teachers who help the deaf students) could solve it and also listen to the aid. The teacher said the hearing aid sounds alright, just a bit smudgy in a way, so there's me thinking, well at least it's not my hearing... So I continued to struggle with not being able to hear, having to stare at people's lips to make out what they're saying (I can't do sign language as I have never learnt it, though I am currently learning at the moment, so lip reading is my life saver) which is just a struggle for me as I get easily tired just having to focus on listening... I was waiting all day for the tick to go by as I was eagered to go home to find a brand new hearing aid for me but no, they still haven't sent my new aid... There's me getting angrier as even though I can't hear anyway properly, I don't struggle as much as I was struggling... 

So I just went to school Friday (Yesterday) as I didn't want to miss out on anything and I'm working on my own at the moment, no lessons or anything so I wasn't bothered but I was just bothered that I'm having to ask people repeat simple words... Anyway, as the bell hit for home time, I was just excited to get home, the journey felt like ages as all I kept thinking was "What if my new aid don't work" and blah... 
Well, I got home and found my letter and put my new aid on and waited for it to turn itself on and there's me thinking I'll be able to hear as I normally can and everything will go back to how it is... But no, the aid itself didn't work either, so as you can imagine, I was getting even angrier that I was phoned my Mum to ring the hospital to arrange a appointment ASAP... Which was this morning...

Anyway, I went to the clinic this morning after I passed my theory and saw the audio lady. We chatted for a bit, she looked in my left ear to see if it was blocked and it was in perfect condition so it wasn't blocked, so we decided to have a quick hearing test to see if there is any changes... Well there was a small amount of changes which I thought that's not bad, but she explained that because I am already very deaf, small amount of change in hearing is going to have a massive impact on me. For me this is disappointing because if that means I got to hear the way I am hearing now, then I'm just going to struggle massively for the rest of my life to be fair... She explained how my hearing actually deteriorated and for me that's not good and the news I was dreading...

She suggested for me to go to London to go and see a team that do cochlear implant to find out information's about it. From what I know is that is a surgically implanted electronic device that provides a sense of sound to a person who is profoundly deaf or severely hard of hearing. Cochlear implants are often called bionic ears. It is often used if the person is unable to wear hearing aids anymore as it doesn't provide them with a sense of hearing... 

For her to suggest that did kind of come crashing down for me and hit me that I am deaf and there's no denying it. All my life I have tried to overcome deafness and I have put in so much EFFORTS into where I am today... When I was in primary school, you'd think I had learning difficulty because I had developmental speech delay and also my vocabulary and reading age was about 5 years delayed... So it is a bit like being back to square one for me as now I can't hear myself very well, I noticed I am struggling a little bit to say the words out properly... I guess I just like to be a perfection as I want to be accepted like a "normal person" if that even exist... 

So the plan is, to go London and basically gather some information about Cochlear and if I want to, I can go ahead and go for an assessment which is a long period of process and if I do fit the candidate to have one (According to the audio lady, I do) then I can decide what to do... In the past, I have thought about having one in my right ear as that's basically no use right now so I'm relying on my left ear but the fact that's deteriorated, it's now a matter of what's better... I also got another appointment soon for my hearing, a proper one to find out what has caused this as today was just a bit of an emergency to see if it was the aid so hopefully I can hear soon :-) I just gotta think, there's someone worst off so I gotta appreciate that even though I can barely hear, at least there is still a small hope of being able to be comfortable with it...

Anyway, I'm gonna go and sorry that was basically long ha ha!! I'd be shocked if you read this line to be honest, thought you'd be long gone ha :P



1 comment:

  1. Well done on the theory test! I know the hearing thing can be a bit of a kick in the teeth, but if the cochlea implant would work for you, I'd go for it. I was offered one but said no as the Dr admitted it wouldn't give me much different than my aids do, cos not only do I have severe bilateral hearing loss, but there's nerve damage too, so I really understand what you mean by 'lipreading is my life saver', its my only way of understanding people! I just hear noise so I put together lip reading and sounds the best I can. Literally cannot understand people who don't look at me, or on the phone etc.

    BUT, it hasn't stopped me doing anything :) Even went to uni, and I got a note taker so even though I couldn't understand the lecturer, I'd get a full set of notes from the lecture soon after. I'm around if you ever need a bit of a rant about hearing things :) xx

    ReplyDelete