Saturday 23 March 2013

Deafness and theory test

Hello everyone,
Just thought I'd give a quick update on how's everything and stuff as I have had an eventful week to be fair.

Well this morning, I had my theory test, I was kind of shitting it if I'm fairly honest as I haven't practiced since I failed my last theory :S But luckily, I passed! Brilliant news for me as it means I now can get back onto the road and continue learning to drive with my driving instructor :-) 

Anyway, I also had some bad news which isn't pretty good for me, so I'll quickly give a small brief about that...

Basically, as some of you know, I have Bilateral hearing loss (is a type of hearing loss in both ears and considered "Deaf") due to meningitis when I was 6 weeks old, so I have been deaf pretty much all my life... 

Well anyway, last Wednesday morning I noticed I couldn't hear well when I put my aid on in the morning after shower which I assumed I must of got it wet again and that it'll dry out within an hour... Well an hour passed, and I still couldn't hear very well so I was getting a bit angry with the aid as it was a new one that was recently delivered due to my previous one got wet. Typical(!) 

Anyway, I just went to school as usual to finish off my coursework in hope that my hearing will get better as the day pass by, by the time I came home from school, it hasn't so I asked my mum to basically ring up and ask if they could deliver a new aid as I thought I may have gotten it wet inside. I also noticed was that when I decided to listen to music (I use headphones without my hearing aid) was that I couldn't hear it as well as I normally can, so that kinda made me think you wot... Well Thursday morning, I was hoping that I'd put my aid back on and miracally I'd be able to hear as I normally can, but the answer was no... 

So I just went to school as usual not being able to hear at all apart from a smide of my annoying voice and was hoping that there was a small faulty that the teachers (they are teachers who help the deaf students) could solve it and also listen to the aid. The teacher said the hearing aid sounds alright, just a bit smudgy in a way, so there's me thinking, well at least it's not my hearing... So I continued to struggle with not being able to hear, having to stare at people's lips to make out what they're saying (I can't do sign language as I have never learnt it, though I am currently learning at the moment, so lip reading is my life saver) which is just a struggle for me as I get easily tired just having to focus on listening... I was waiting all day for the tick to go by as I was eagered to go home to find a brand new hearing aid for me but no, they still haven't sent my new aid... There's me getting angrier as even though I can't hear anyway properly, I don't struggle as much as I was struggling... 

So I just went to school Friday (Yesterday) as I didn't want to miss out on anything and I'm working on my own at the moment, no lessons or anything so I wasn't bothered but I was just bothered that I'm having to ask people repeat simple words... Anyway, as the bell hit for home time, I was just excited to get home, the journey felt like ages as all I kept thinking was "What if my new aid don't work" and blah... 
Well, I got home and found my letter and put my new aid on and waited for it to turn itself on and there's me thinking I'll be able to hear as I normally can and everything will go back to how it is... But no, the aid itself didn't work either, so as you can imagine, I was getting even angrier that I was phoned my Mum to ring the hospital to arrange a appointment ASAP... Which was this morning...

Anyway, I went to the clinic this morning after I passed my theory and saw the audio lady. We chatted for a bit, she looked in my left ear to see if it was blocked and it was in perfect condition so it wasn't blocked, so we decided to have a quick hearing test to see if there is any changes... Well there was a small amount of changes which I thought that's not bad, but she explained that because I am already very deaf, small amount of change in hearing is going to have a massive impact on me. For me this is disappointing because if that means I got to hear the way I am hearing now, then I'm just going to struggle massively for the rest of my life to be fair... She explained how my hearing actually deteriorated and for me that's not good and the news I was dreading...

She suggested for me to go to London to go and see a team that do cochlear implant to find out information's about it. From what I know is that is a surgically implanted electronic device that provides a sense of sound to a person who is profoundly deaf or severely hard of hearing. Cochlear implants are often called bionic ears. It is often used if the person is unable to wear hearing aids anymore as it doesn't provide them with a sense of hearing... 

For her to suggest that did kind of come crashing down for me and hit me that I am deaf and there's no denying it. All my life I have tried to overcome deafness and I have put in so much EFFORTS into where I am today... When I was in primary school, you'd think I had learning difficulty because I had developmental speech delay and also my vocabulary and reading age was about 5 years delayed... So it is a bit like being back to square one for me as now I can't hear myself very well, I noticed I am struggling a little bit to say the words out properly... I guess I just like to be a perfection as I want to be accepted like a "normal person" if that even exist... 

So the plan is, to go London and basically gather some information about Cochlear and if I want to, I can go ahead and go for an assessment which is a long period of process and if I do fit the candidate to have one (According to the audio lady, I do) then I can decide what to do... In the past, I have thought about having one in my right ear as that's basically no use right now so I'm relying on my left ear but the fact that's deteriorated, it's now a matter of what's better... I also got another appointment soon for my hearing, a proper one to find out what has caused this as today was just a bit of an emergency to see if it was the aid so hopefully I can hear soon :-) I just gotta think, there's someone worst off so I gotta appreciate that even though I can barely hear, at least there is still a small hope of being able to be comfortable with it...

Anyway, I'm gonna go and sorry that was basically long ha ha!! I'd be shocked if you read this line to be honest, thought you'd be long gone ha :P



Monday 18 March 2013

Mad March

Heeeeeello guys, hope y'all is alright :-) 

Sorry I haven't been really updating as I haven't really thought of what to say but I just decided I'll say a load of random shit as pair as usual 

As you probably remembered that I was currently studying my theory test (as I previously mentioned on the "Wish me luck" post... Well I failed my theory test by two points on hazard perception which you probably could imagine my disappointment in as I honestly thought after all that time I spent studying, I'd at least pass, but not I failed lol... I have re booked it for this Saturday coming and I'm definitely positive that I'll pass this time! Fingers crossed aye! 

I haven't really been doing much lately as I have been feeling like a piece of shit with my breathing being messed up which was a bit weird as normally if I'm breathless just resting and stuff, it tend to be because I am very chesty due to a chest infection or virus, whatever it is but this time I felt clear but I just knew I wasn't feeling the best of the world as it was just tiring me out so yeah I just been taking it easy really... Though I have recently been helping my best-mate at her work place (an Indian takeaway) which involve in eating all their poppadoms, getting free curries, and messing up phone calls!! No, I'm kidding but yeah free food is the best, and also something to look good on my CV ;-) hopefully will get me a better chance of getting a job once my studies have gotten out the way for the summer :-) 

I had my joint clinic (Last one ever in pead, boo! :-( -) which went pretty okayish, I'm not going to like give a summary of what's been said or so but yeah it was just pretty the same as what was expected. But I am starting IV's this coming Monday and I'm trying a new antibiotic which I'm pretty sure I've never had before as I can't really tolerate ceftz or colomycin IVs (We're not sure which one yet) as I had an episode last year of feeling drunken and horrible numbing of the face so we stopped that for now and also Toby IV's aren't so good as most of you know I am deaf so that messes my hearing up extraaaa more! 

I thought I'd mention that I'm moving to adults care next month toward the end of may which I'm not looking forward to now as I have heard some pretty negative stuff about the place but I need to go and see it all for myself before I can make an judgement of what I think so yeah I'm a bit impatient...


Anyway, have you guys heard of Ben Mudge? 

If so, I thought I'd give him a little shout out on my blog as he is inspiring and you all should defiantly check him out! 

He has Cystic Fibrosis, like me, but he is proving that you can do ANYTHING, and by that is Ben is an irish professional sponsored athletic which is amazing as it is very hard work to become one but to add on CF on the top of that, that's a tremendous amount of dedication and motivation into what he has put :-) So he is controlling Cystic Fibrosis, not the other way! 
Ben also bringing awareness into the industry and that's brilliant as the more awareness we get, the better! 

So if you guys want to check him out and give him supports or even ask him questions which I am sure he will happily would answer some! Follow him on Twitter - Ben Mudge (I sound like some sort of advertising agency, but I'm really not!) 

PS. Ladies, just goes to show that not all CF lads are skinny and small haha! ;-) We do have a "greek god!" in the CF community aka Ben... hahaha I should stop now! :-P